The first time I became a mother, everything felt like a lot—overwhelming, exhilarating, a little wild, often stressful. This time, it feels different. Not easier—pregnancy is hard, and I’m definitely not one of those women who “loves being pregnant”—but more reflective.
In this month’s essay, I’m exploring what it means to become a mother again—how I’m navigating the tension between experience and surrender, and how both my daughter and my business have unexpectedly shaped my understanding of motherhood the second time around.
Fun fact: When I had my first child, Lilah Grace Bond Murray, in July 2022, it was the same week our very first product—The Secret Garden Art Novel—went to production. I was literally releasing my two “babies” into the world at the same time. Arguably, one took more time and physical effort on my part, but both were deeply personal, long-anticipated, and required everything I had.
I remember not feeling like I could fully step away from the business. Some of that was my own inability to let go. But the truth is, the success of a business doesn’t pause for maternity leave. At least, not back then. And I didn’t feel like I could sacrifice time away.
What followed was a hard-earned lesson that showed up in the form of postpartum anxiety and depression. Rather than allowing myself space to heal and bond with my daughter, I stretched myself thin trying to be everything, everywhere, all at once. And while I learned to survive it, I also carry regret. I can’t go back—but I can do it differently this time.
Ironically, I’m due again the same week another “baby” launches—our Gatsby Collection, on November 1st. But this time, I won’t be sending Slack messages on the way to the hospital. (Okay, maybe one. But just out of curiosity.) I trust my team. And I trust myself enough to step back.
I’m giving myself three months to focus fully on my son—and to help my daughter transition into her new role as big sister. The fact that I get to work at a company rooted in literature and art is an absolute dream. But the fact that I also have the privilege to be present during the first sacred months of my son’s life? That is something I won’t take for granted.
And here’s the beautiful, surprising truth: I’m a better businesswoman because of motherhood.
Motherhood didn’t dilute my ambition—it sharpened it.
Since becoming a mother, I’ve learned to make decisions without perfect information. The guessing game of “Is she hungry? Tired? Overstimulated?” isn’t that different from deciding whether to invest in a new product, take a risk, or pivot a campaign. You get comfortable trusting your gut. You learn to lead with intuition.
I’ve also redefined productivity. Before children, I equated productivity with volume—doing more, staying later, always pushing. But now? I focus on what matters most. I protect my energy. Every hour I spend away from my family needs to count. And that clarity has made me a sharper, more decisive CEO.
Motherhood taught me the art of the pivot. Babies get fevers. Toddlers have meltdowns. You adapt, reroute, reframe—daily. That resilience has translated directly into how I lead Bond & Grace. There’s always a curveball. But now I know I can handle it, because I’ve already navigated some of the most high-stakes, emotionally raw moments of my life.
And perhaps most importantly, I’ve found power in vulnerability. Being honest about the challenges—about the postpartum anxiety, about the regrets, about the stretch marks both literal and figurative—has made me a more human leader. And it’s built a stronger, more compassionate culture in our company. One where people are seen not just for what they produce, but for who they are.
I used to think legacy was something you left behind. Now I know it’s something you build in real time.
Raising a daughter while running a company has reshaped my priorities. I no longer want to build something impressive—I want to build something meaningful. Something she’ll be proud of. Something that reflects the world I want her and her brother to grow up in. A world where beauty and truth coexist. Where stories matter. Where women lead with both ambition and grace.
So no, this pregnancy hasn’t been easy. My body is sore. My calendar is full. My mind is already spinning with everything that’s to come.
But I’m also calm in a way I wasn’t last time.
Because this time, I know I don’t have to choose between being a mother and being a CEO. I’m both. And each role makes me better at the other.
